A gifted Basingstoke DJ hanged herself in the same spot of woodland a friend committed suicide at two years earlier, an inquest heard.
Former Basingstoke College of Technology (BCoT) student Carys Murdock’s body was found on August 5, at Jeffrey’s Copse, in Kempshott.
The 22-year-old, better known to those following her music as Enfuza, left a note to her friends and family, in which she stated that “the pain was too much for me”.
It read: “I’m sorry, I tried my best. This is the end for me. Didn’t want to be selfish, but the pain was too much for me.”
A friend of Miss Murdock, Mark Newman, was found dead in the same secluded woodland, on August 26 2014, having also hanged himself.
And a statement from the DJ’s partner of three years, Alex Hinton, revealed that the pair had talked about suicide, following Mr Newman’s death.
He said: “She told me she had tried to kill herself several times when she was younger.
“She said she didn’t need counselling, but I think she was in denial.”
Mr Hinton told today’s inquest, at Basingstoke Law Courts, that the loss of Miss Murdock’s estranged father, who died on the same day that she attempted to make contact with him on Facebook in 2014, had also “affected her deeply”.
Miss Murdock began drinking heavily, and taking cannabis and MDMA, and “refused to accept help from anyone” other than her partner, with Mr Hinton then moving out to give himself “some space”, around a week before her death.
Mr Hinton said: “She was an accomplished DJ, but felt guilty about these unknown people liking her.
“She had so much going on in her life, [and] I don’t know if I could do anymore to help her.
“It all became too much, [but] I never wanted to end things permanently, I just needed to clear my head.
“I was heartbroken when I found out.”
While confirming his verdict of suicide, North East Hampshire coroner, Andrew Bradley, added: “She had a lot going for her, but then she began to disintegrate. “There’s no clinical depression, but she was clearly in a low frame of mind when she takes herself away to the lonely woodland.
“It’s just sad that she couldn’t find a hand to take hold of.
“She clearly perceives her life in despair.
“She had so much to live for.”