OVER the last few weeks, our new normal has felt a lot like the old normal with life becoming more and more hectic.
With half term ahead of us psychotherapist Noel McDermott is advising families to take a moment to remember the challenges you have been through as a family and the things that became precious and healing during the pandemic.
The most precious thing we gained in the lockdowns was remembering we love each other and that love simply means time together. Don’t underestimate family time, remember how creative we became, creating games and ways of having fun together as a family unit.
Noel McDermott shared: “We went to these core activities during a time of crisis, and they helped us be resilient in the face of challenge and they remain the core resilience activities. Loving, healthy, active time together is the centre of everything, with this in place we can face changes and growth with confidence.”
Time is the most precious resource we can give. A central lesson we can reinforce now is how amazing we are, to have come through challenge and distress together and to actually grow from this challenging place. Our vulnerability opened us up to the important things in life, those we love and those that love us. It’s not stuff and things we need, but each other and how we express that is by time. We give each other our time, probably our most precious resource especially as life seems to be speeding up at a rate of knots. Downtime is vital during the half term and other holidays, not just to rest but to rest with each other. It’s like a litter of puppies sleeping in a bundle, where you are not sure where one begins and ends. That’s what is needed, the reassurance of resting safely together.
Focus on physical contact, take every opportunity to rest and be in gentle and loving physical contact with your children. This contact produces a hormone called oxytocin which reduces stress and promotes loving feelings of connection to others. We feel more connected in a global sense and more secure and can carry that security into other aspects of our lives.
Nature has a similar impact in the sense of creating connectedness.
Being a parent we always forget that we need to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first, as they say on the plane every time you fly. If the oxygen mask drops, put it on yourself first because if you run out of oxygen then you can’t help anyone else. Here the mask is a metaphor for self-care, so make sure you find time and activities that recharge your own batteries.
So this half term, why not:
Stay in your pjs for longer than normal and enjoy snuggling up in bed with breakfast of all your favourite treats; make more time for family meals and conversation. Get the baking bowls out and get creative in the kitchen with everyone doing their bit; have a movie day on the sofa, let the kids choose what they’d like to watch and what treats they’d like to indulge in; dust off the board games and spend an afternoon battling it out as a family or just go for a walk or a play outside.
